Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
..........Redneck Bible translation..........
Some people in Tennessee have trouble with all those "shalls" and "shall nots" in the Ten commandments.
Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms.
So, some folks in middle Tennessee got together and translated the "King James"
into "Jackson County" language,.... no joke, read on...
The Hillbilly's Ten Commandments (posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro, TN.)
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma &Pa.
(3) No tellin' tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No fooli n' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin.'
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think? Y'all have a nice day.
http://www.ilovewavs.com/ForKids/Christian/Old%20Time%20Religion.wav
..........Revelations of a long life..........
- I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
- I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
- I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses
- I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
- I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed
- I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -they are more screwed up than you think.
- I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
- I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
- I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity
- I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.
- I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
- I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
- I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
- I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
- I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
..........Dedicated to "modern" art..........
She Actually walked down a busy city street with no "real" clothes -- only those painted on her. Most passersby didn't even give her a second look because the paint looked so much like clothing. YES, she is totally naked!
http://pcdon.com/-DellaReese-YouCameaLongWayfromStLouis.wav
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
..........When in PA - talk "Pennsylvanian" ..........
You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly" and New Jersey has always been " Jersey" You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronouncedPee-ay). How many other states do that? "You guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference toa group of men & women. You know how to respond to the question"Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?) You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre ,Schuylkill , the Pocono's, Tamaqua, Tunkannock, BalaCynwyd, Duquesne & Monongahela.
You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade.You know what " Punxsutawney Phil" is, and what it means if he sees his shadow. The first day of buck & the first day of doe season are school holidays. You know how to get 'rid' of things and how to read up.You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" & not even bat an eye.You can't go to a wedding without hearing the"Chicken Dance," at least one polka & either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."At least 5 people on your block have electric"candles" in all or most their windows all yearlong.You know what a "Hex sign" is.
You know what a "State Store" is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart. You own only 4 condiments: salt, pepper, mustard & ketc hup.Words like "hoagie," "crick," "chipped ham,""sticky buns," "shoo-fly pie," "pierogies" &"pocketbook" actually mean something to you. That's PA slang for purse!
You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (Those from NY find this "barbaric.")You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown,Gold.You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage and Hot Bacon Dressing. You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear & enjoy it. It almost always comes with mustard. You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich, and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA. Except Atlantic City on the boardwalk.You live for summer, when street & county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season. Customers ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise ,Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville ,Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns. (and the first3 were consecutive stops on the Reading RR) You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is..You can identify drivers from New York , NewJersey , or other neighboring states by their unique& irritating driving habits. A traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. You carry jumper cables in your car & your female passengers know how to use them. You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snowbrush in your trunk, even if you now live in the south. Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow. As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.
Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish,German, & Italian names.You know beer doesn't grow in a garden but youknow where to find a beer garden.You also know someone who lives "down the lane"You actually understand all this & send it on to other Pennsylvanians or former Pennsylvanians!
YEAH ! ! THAT'S "PA" AND WE LOVE IT
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
..........And the winner is..........
While most of the field was embroiled in a last-lap crash at the Daytona 500, Kevin Harvick had just enough left to pass Mark Martin at the last possible moment and claim victory in the Great American Race.
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