You old buzzard...........
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Tim Russert....truly a sad loss for America
A true shining star in the mess that is Washington and the media
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Where did the White Man go wrong...................
Indian Chief "Two Eagles" was asked by a white U.S. government official, "You have observed
the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen
his progress, and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied:
"When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.
Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.' Then the chief leaned back and smiled "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Get out of jail free..........................
Starting in 1941, increasing numbers of British airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape. Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful, accurate map, one showing not only where-stuff- was, but also showing the locations of "safe houses" a POW on-the-lam could go to for food and shelter. Paper maps had real drawbacks: they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear-out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush.
Someone i n the MI-5 branch (one hopes it was the youthful incarnation of "Q"!), got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatever. At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by HM Government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort. By pure coincidence, Waddington's was also the U.K. licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, " games and pastimes" was a category of item qualified for insertion into "CARE packages" dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war of all belligerents.
Under strictest secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were located (Red Cross packages were delivered to prisoners in accordance with that same regional system). When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece. As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add:
A playing token containing a small magnetic compass A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian and French currency hidden within the piles of Monopoly money! British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first missions, on how to identify a "rigged" Monopoly set - by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square! Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, more than a few were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely - HM Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in another, future war.
The story wasn't declassified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony. At any rate, it's always nice when you can play that "Get Out of Jail Free" card!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
May the Good Lord bless and keep you..........................
This is for the mothers who sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up puke laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, 'It's okay honey, Mommy's here'.
Who sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted. This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors. And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football , hockey or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, 'Did you see me, Mom?' theycould say, 'Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world,' and mean it
.This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.
This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read 'Goodnight, Moon' twice a night for a year. And then read it again. 'Just one more time.'
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoel aces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a littlevoice calls 'Mom?' in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them. For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year olds dye their hair green. For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school safely.
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful,and now pray they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby,cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street,... walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying? The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...And mature mothers learning to let go
.For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers .Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. For all of us. Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them ......and Pray.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Every dog has his (or her) day.............
After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, 'Case dismissed!'
The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!'
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own atheists' holiday!'
The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'
The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date, April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Foolʼs Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday!
Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!
Way to go, Judge!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Zebra question.............
A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter , "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"
Saint Peter replied, "That's a question only God can answer."
So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"
God simply replied, "You are what you are."
The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God straighten out your query for you?'"
The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said, 'You are what you are.'"
St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes."
The zebra asked St. Peter, "How do you know that for certain?"
"Because," said St. Peter, "If you were black with white stripes, God would have said,
'Yo' is what yo' is.' !!!!
Thank you note.............
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
Eagle medicine
Jeff Guidry and Freedom are at
Sarvey Wildlife Center
http://www.sarveywildlife.org/
"jeff" <jeff@sarveywildlife.org>
eaglewalker@comcast.net
Freedom and I have been together 10 years this summer. She came in as a baby in 1998 with two broken wings. Her left wing doesn't open all the way even after surgery, it was broken in 4 places. She's my baby.
When Freedom came in she could not stand. Both wings were broken, her left wing in 4 places. She was emaciated and covered in lice. We made the decision to give her a chance at life, so I took her to the vet's office. From then on, I was always around her. We had her in a huge dog carrier with the top off, and it was loaded up with shredded newspaper for her to lay in. I used to sit and talk to her, urging her to live, to fight; and she would lay there looking at me with those big brown eyes. We also had to tube feed her for weeks.
This went on for 4-6 weeks, and by then she still couldn't stand. It got to the point where the decision was made to euthanize her if she couldn't stand in a week. You know you don't want to cross that line between torture and rehab, and it looked like death was winning. She was going to be put down that Friday, and I was supposed to come in on that Thursday afternoon. I didn't want to go to the center that Thursday, because I couldn't bear the thought of her being euthanized; but I went anyway, and when I walked in everyone was grinning from ear to ear. I went immediately back to her dowel cage; and there she was, standing on her own, a big beautiful eagle. She was ready to live. I was just about in tears by then. That was a very good day.
We knew she could never fly, so the director asked me to glove train her. I got her used to the glove, and then to jesses, and we started doing education programs for schools in western Washington. We wound up in the newspapers, radio (believe it or not) and some TV. Miracle Pets even did a show about us.
In the spring of 2000, I was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. I had stage 3, which is not good (one major organ plus everywhere), so I wound up doing 8 months of chemo. Lost the hair—the whole bit. I missed a lot of work. When I felt good enough, I would go to Sarvey & take Freedom out for walks. Freedom would also come to me in my dreams and help me fight the cancer. This happened time & time again.
Fast forward to November 2000, the day after Thanksgiving, I went in for my last checkup. I was told that if the cancer was not all gone after 8 rounds of chemo, then my last option was a stem cell transplant. Anyway, they did the tests; and I had to come back Monday for the results. I went in Monday and I was told that all the cancer was gone. Yahoo!
So the first thing I did was get up to Sarvey and take the big girl out for a walk. It was misty and cold. I went to her flight and jessed her up, and we went out front to the top of the hill. I hadn't said a word to Freedom, but somehow she knew. She looked at me and wrapped both her wings around me to where I could feel them pressing in on my back (I was engulfed in eagle wings), and she touched my nose with her beak and stared into my eyes, and we just stood there like that for I don't know how long. That was a magic moment. We have been soul mates ever since she came in. This is a very special bird.
On a side note, I have had people who were sick come up to us when we are out, & Freedom has some kind of hold on them. I once had a guy who was terminal come up to us & I let him hold her. His knees just about buckled and he swore he could feel her power coarse through his body. I have so many stories like that. I never forget the honor I have of being so close to such a magnificent spirit as Freedom's.
Hope you enjoy this.
Jeff
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
As I think back................
I might have been rich if I'd wanted the gold instead of the friendships I've made.I might have had fame if I'd sought for renownin the hours when I purposely played.Now I'm standing to-day on the far edge of life,and I'm just looking backward to seeWhat I've done with the years and the days that were mine,and all that has happened to me.
I haven't built much of a fortune to leave to those who shall carry my name,And nothing I've done shall entitle me now to a place on the tablets of fame.But I've loved the great sky and its spaces of blue; I've lived with the birds and the trees;I've turned from the splendor of silver and goldto share in such pleasures as these.
I've given my time to the children who came; together we've romped and we've played,And I wouldn't exchange the glad hours spent with them for the money that I might have made.I chose to be known and be loved by the few, and was deaf to the plaudits of men;And I'd make the same choice should the chance come to me to live my life over again.
I've lived with my friends and I've shared in their joys, known sorrow with all of its tears;I have harvested much from my acres of life, though some say I've squandered my years.For much that is fine has been mine to enjoy,and I think I have lived to my best,And I have no regret, as I'm nearing the end, for the gold that I might have possessed.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
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